Nonsensical Thoughts.

What’s the right way to say it? Do people say “let’s do a Google Hangout”, or is it “Let’s Google Hangout”, or maybe it’s “let’s Google Hangout each other”. Yeah, I think it’s the last one. It makes the most sense really. You can’t really do a “Google Hangout”. That implies that you would have some sort of sexual relationship with an internet application. Although I permit all types of relationship in this beautiful planet we call Earth, I do find a relationship of that sorts to be slightly “odd”.

I haven’t spoken to my brother in over two months. So today, I decided to text him with: “what’s your life like?”. A few hours later, we decided to Google Hangout each other. He seems to be doing very well and is quite caught up with his AIESEC life. He also seemed to have a ton of fun in this international conference he went to in Taiwan.

I find it a bit funny that whenever he talks about his successes or maybe something that he has done recently that’s cool, a small part of me is always trying to 1up him. It’s like I’m 12 years old again. I’m not really sure if I was always like this, or if it’s the fact that I’m more aware of my thoughts as they appear.

Am I being arrogant?
Am I listening to the person that is currently speaking to me?
Did my response make sense?
Is my vocal tone loud and clear enough?

These are some of the thoughts that have been currently going through my head. And I don’t like it. Why? Because it implies that I give a shit. I don’t. And I don’t mean that in a “everyone sucks and all I care about is myself” type of way. What it means, at least to me, is that I’m second guessing myself and the actions that I’m taking. There is no longer a flow to the actions I take and the things that I say. That’s what I was like a few months ago. I had a flow. That flow is gone now. I trusted myself a lot more. Now I’m second guessing my actions, and even my colleagues are feeling it.

Meanwhile, I had an interview with a potential team member for our Marketing team. He seemed like a really nice guy. I feel that there is a lot that this person wants to give; he just wants someone to give him a chance. At least that’s what I feel. I’m gonna go through the other candidates first before I make my final decision. I don’t think it matters how many people I take in. The more I take in, the harder it will be to manage the team. That means it’ll be more challenging. I like challenges.

In other news, I pushed myself super-freakin-sonic-boom-motorstorm-ultra-BBQ-sauce hard in the bodybuilding facility today (aka “The Gym”). It was probably the best workout I’ve had so far. I felt freakin’ amazing. I miss that feeling. I felt like I could do anything.

It was beautiful.

Follow me @Marwanalshafei where I spark rainbows within people’s subconscious and make the world go round n’ round.